CONFLICT RESOLUTION CONSORTIUM
INTRACTABLE CONFLICT/CONSTRUCTIVE CONFRONTATION PROJECT
Developing Constructive Approaches for Confronting Seemingly
Intractable Conflicts


Working Paper 93-6, July 20, 1993 [1]

CONFRONTING RACIAL, ETHNIC, AND GENDER CONFLICTS
IN THE SCHOOLS

By Malaika Pettigrew
City of Boulder Youth Services


         I work for the City of Boulder Youth Services as an
intervention specialist, which is a liaison between the City of
Boulder community organizations and the schools.  At the present I
work in two middle schools, and I also teach a multi-cultural peer
leadership class at Broomfield High School.  I am also a volunteer
mediator for the City of Boulder on the race relations team.  I do
a lot of mediations, not so much for the city, but in the schools. 
As you can imagine, there are a lot of fights in the schools.  I am
the one that school officials call upon, in particular, to handle
mediations having to do with race issues.
         There is a tendency, at the administrative level, to look
at such conflicts in the schools as isolated incidents.  Also,
there is the desire to keep the incidents isolated and not look at
them as being symptomatic of larger problems.  In Boulder there is
a major problem with race relations.  But, there is a large amount
of denial of this problem in a city that calls itself very liberal.
        Because of my position as mediator in the schools, much of
my experience is with students, particularly with students of
color. I hear their stories of what is happening to them, but most
people do not hear about these incidents: each incident has been
handled individually and kept secret.  Consequently, other students
do not hear the outcome of such conflicts.  No one learns that they
are not alone in their struggles.  This is particularly crucial
because of the small number of students of color.  This often
results in isolation, particularly among the African-American
students.  
         Examples involving fights at school that students have
shared with me underscore this problem.  One particular
African-American student (I've heard more than one student say
this) told me how often she gets called a "nigger" by other
students.  How she dealt with these epithets was to ignore them
because she didn't want to fight all the time.  She just didn't
know how to deal with the problem any other way.  She never got any
response from teachers or the administration when she reported such
incidents to them.  But one day she got fed up and ended up
fighting with another student.  They were subsequently called into
the vice-principal's office.  After discussing what happened, they
both were suspended.  During the discussion, she stated that the
conflict had to do with being called a "nigger," but the
administrator told her, "Well, you're just using that as an
excuse." 
         Other incidents that I have experienced in my role as
mediator involve teachers asking me to deal with a particular
student:  "Will you work with Johnny who's an African-American
male?  He's been complaining a lot about racism in this school. I
want you to meet with him and find out what's really going on." 
This attitude emphasizes the denial of a student's reality and a
denial that racism even exists in this sphere.  Teachers often
assume that because they are teachers, they cannot be perceived as
racist, thus something else must be going on in the student's life. 
Those examples exemplify the level of frustration that I feel.  One
can imagine the frustration level of the students.
         I witnessed a mediation recently, which was extraordinary.
As a mediator you are taught certain rules--how to sit down at the
table and mediate, how to do storytelling, and all the other steps
on down the line.  But sometimes, you just have to let go of all of
those supposed rules and just be present with the conflictants.
         An example of this was a particular high school mediation
I participated in.  The conflict involved two African-American
males and two Latino males.   The conflict itself had to do with a
"look."  It had started with a "look," but, of course, it was more
than that.  The conflictants felt the look was implying, "Why are
you looking at me like you want to kick my butt?"  The "look"
resulted in a fight.  
         The school officials called me in as an African-American
to represent the African-American youths.  That is something I
respect.  I believe that in mediations, all parties, if possible,
should be represented by the same sex, the same race, or whatever
is relevant.  A Latino male was called in for the Latino youths. 
He also did the interpreting for us because the Latino students'
English was limited.  It looked like it was going to be a very
difficult mediation because not only were there four principal
individuals involved, but there back-up participants.  The fight
was not over; they had quit fighting only because the
administration had come and they didn't want to get into trouble. 
During the fight there had been a large group of Latinos around to 
protect their own kind.  The African-Americans subsequently decided
that they needed some back-up so they called their "homeboys" down
in Denver and told them to be on alert.  So, as you can see, it was
a very, very intense and potentially explosive situation.
         When we were called in that day, the administration
brought us into a room with the young men and said, "O.K. boys, the
grown-ups are here."  We asked the administration to leave.  They
had wanted to be a part of the mediation and record everything to
make sure that everything went the way that they wanted it to, so
that they could make a judgement on discipline afterwards.  But we
told them, "We'd rather you not be a part of this, but we'll speak
to you afterwards and let you know how it went."  So I met
individually with the two African-Americans and the Latino
representative met with the Latinos.  I felt that it was important
right up front to bring up the issue of race.  I asked them if race
was an issue here.  Obviously it was.  There was some name-calling
back and forth, so I had to set the rules--name-calling was not
going to be acceptable.  I told them that they could talk about how
they felt, what they believed, but ethnic slurs would not be used
here.  To expose the issue, I asked how racism was involved in this
conflict: "Why are two people of color fighting each other?  What's
going on here?  What started it and why was a look so important?"
         When we got to the actual mediation, I proceeded to abide
by my rules.  I told them that they would go one at a time to tell
their stories.  But nobody wanted to start.  So, I finally asked
one of them to start.  He began with this question to the other
student: "What the fuck were you looking at me like that for?"  I
said, "Maybe you didn't quite hear the rules; maybe I need to go
over them again."  He said " Naw man, what the fuck..."  I then
decided that maybe I needed to let go of the rules in this case
because this is the way they talk to each other.  We needed to see
what was going to happen.  The answer to the African-American's
question came back through the translator just as bluntly (I don't
know if he translated literally), "Well, you know man, if I had
wanted to kick your butt I would have done it."  The dialogue went
back and forth like this for awhile.  I had decided to honor this
process; this was what they needed to do.
         This was not a typical mediation; the conflictants were
not following any of the supposed rules.  But these students needed
to say what they had to say.  This was their method of
confrontation, and it was not physical or violent.  As they
continued, we stayed out of the way, realizing that this was their
process.  Previously, they had never been allowed or empowered to
try to solve the problem for themselves, nor given the opportunity
to work it out. So, we just stepped back and watched, hoping that
they weren't going to jump across the table at each other, which
they didn't.
         They started getting to the issues on their own:  "Hey
man, why were you sitting out in the hallway instead of being in
class?  Why aren't you in class?  I mean, I'm here to study, I'm
here to pass.  I don't want to fight."  The other student said he
didn't want to fight either, but that he was having a problem with
his schedule.  Then they started talking:  "Well, you don't want to
fight, and I don't want to fight, but we knew that to be a man we
couldn't punk out on each other."  They got into real core issues
after that:  "I don't want to fight."  "Maybe I can help you out
here, why don't you have those classes?"  "You know, I understand
you man, you have two-and-a-half strikes going against you.  I have
two strikes against me, only because I speak English and you
don't."  It continued in this manner--it was just wonderful.
         During this time, I was sitting back watching and
realizing how we really had not done much more than create an
environment where these students were accepted for who they are. 
They were allowed to talk the way that they needed to talk to each
other. They needed to conflict in their own way.  We had to let go
of our agenda of how we thought it should go and of wanting to
solve it for them.  Also, we had to relinquish the hope that they
would reach a particular outcome.  They ended up working it out
better than we could have ever imagined.  The session ended with
the students telling each other, "If you teach me Spanish, I'll
teach you English."  I was really moved.
         We came back a week later.  The students hadn't exchanged
numbers yet, but they respected each other.  When they passed each
other in the hallways they nodded, which is more than we were
hoping for.  So, it was a wonderful example.  I felt very fortunate
to be a part of it.                 
         From this experience I think we can learn something very
important.  If we could just sit back and create an environment of
acceptance and empowerment, often students in a conflict have the
answers themselves.  We don't have to go in there and do it for
them.  We don't have to be the grown-ups who set them straight and
show them how to do things.  We need to learn to step aside and
believe that they can resolve conflicts in an environment that
permits them to do so. 
         I certainly don't have the answer to the question of how
to solve issues of racial conflict or how to avoid conflict when
the next Rodney King verdict comes out.  But, I can say that it
isn't about sending experts to solve the problem or merely setting
up a mediation environment.  A more appropriate method involves
using the available community resources and saying things like: 
"How do you guys think you want to work this out?  Or do you want
to work it out?  Maybe you need to have a conflict.  Maybe racism
has so permeated your everyday life that you believe that's the
only way it's going to change."
         Conflict is the only way that change happens.  You do not
know there is a problem until there is a conflict.  Stifling that
or covering it up by saying that it is an isolated incident is not
the solution.   This prevents an examination of what it really
is--a massive problem. 

__________________________

[1] This paper is an edited transcript of a talk given by Malaika
Pettigrew for the Intractable Conflict/Constructive Confrontation
Project on March 15, 1993.  Funding for this Project was provided
by the William and Flora Hewlett Foundation and the University of
Colorado.  All ideas presented are those of the author and do not
necessarily represent the views of the Consortium, the University,
or Hewlett Foundation.  For more information, contact the Conflict
Resolution Consortium, Campus Box 327, University of Colorado,
Boulder, Colorado 80309-0327. Phone: (303) 492-1635, e-mail:
crc@cubldr.colorado.edu.

Copyright 1993. Conflict Resolution Consortium.  Do not reprint
without permission.